The US Presidential Campaign

I have always had Democratic leanings, both while living in California and now in British Columbia. The Republicans have always made me shudder, with the exception of Ronald Reagan from recent memory. Ever since I moved to North America, I have actively followed the Presidential campaigns, rooting for Bill Clinton, Al Gore, John Kerry, and Barack Obama. I was delighted at the election of such a charismatic leader as Bill Clinton as President, and overjoyed at history being made with the election of Barack Obama, but was devastated to see Gore and Kerry lose their respective campaigns. I also couldn't understand how the Americans could be so dumb as to elect Bush to a second term! Well, it's that time of year again, needless to say!

Like countless others around the world, I have been absolutely riveted by the nomination campaigns of both the parties, keenly followed the Presidential debates, avidly lapped up the poll numbers, carefully listened to all the political pundits and their analyses through their partisan prisms, and hotly debated at the water cooler and the lunch table at work as to who would make a better President, all without having a vote in the US elections, mind you! Only goes to show how captivating the US elections can be, even for those with no vested interest in America!

Next Tuesday will reveal who the next president is going to be, Obama or Romney. The polls indicate a closely fought race, a hotly contested election that is down to the wire, so to speak. As a lay person, my opinion is that this election is going to be all about the economy. The average jobless American needs a job in order to be able to bring home a pay check, pay the bills and put food on the table. It remains to be seen which candidate managed to convince the average American on that front, the incumbent or the challenger. It is that candidate, for sure, who is going to be the next President of America!

What the Hell?!?

People, in general, have always been fascinated by the concepts of "heaven" and "hell" and religions around the world use them to provide a moral compass to us sinful mortals. "Be good and prosper in Heaven, but if you are bad, be prepared to be tormented in Hell" has been the lesson handed to us by Christianity in particular. Heaven conjures up visions of golden mansions beyond the clouds, along gold-paved and diamond-encrusted streets, and people in long-flowing robes sitting at the feet of Jesus, enjoying eternal salvation. Hell, on the other hand, brings us images of both darkness and burning flames, pots of boiling oil and a grinning, horned devil enjoying his torment of all the sinners doomed to eternal damnation.

Like everyone else, I have always wondered why a loving God would punish sinners forever by sending them to Hell. My understanding is that the idea of Hell has been employed as a deterrent to people, to steer them from their sinful ways. Sometimes, love alone does not do the trick, and a little fear goes a long way in the moral policing of humankind. Though we have implicit faith in a loving God, we tend to stray away from the path of goodness at times, but the fear of the devil and the torment of Hell is sure to keep us on the right track, I guess. It's good for us to exclaim, "What the hell?!?" and keep on living our lives as well as we can, with our eyes trained only on all that is good and fair!

Cyber Bullying

Just weeks after posting a chilling video on YouTube, Amanda Todd, a troubled teenager from Port Coquitlam, B.C., killed herself at the tender age of 15. Ever since, the media has been abuzz with comments and analyses about cyber bullying, in this case, by a suspected pedophile from the US who has managed to evade the authorities till now, after targeting Amanda and torturing her to the point of suicide. In the wake of the teen's death, education management and social media experts have all weighed in about keeping teenagers safe from cyber bullies.

"Internet stalkers" are out there aplenty, and Amanda had the misfortune of being lured by one such predator who convinced her to expose herself on a webcam and then used the image to blackmail her by distributing it to her schoolmates, teachers, and everyone in her social circle, when she refused to put on a more explicit webcam show for him. The hounding and the torture continued even after she changed schools, leading the tormented teen to take her life shortly after posting the YouTube video, comprising of handwritten notes about her lonely, haunted life.

Amanda Todd's life is a learning experience for all teenagers who need to be wary of cyber stalkers and pedophiles who troll the Internet. Children have to be educated about the dangers of exposing themselves to strangers on webcam, and also about the cruelty of bullying their peers like Amanda Todd. Amanda was not only victimized by her stalker, but also by her schoolmates who posted disgusting images and comments on social media, even after her death. The authorities should take all steps needed to prevent cyber bullying of any kind, punishing the perpetrators and teaching teenagers how to be good digital citizens.

RIP, Amanda Todd! 

Having The Cake And Eating It Too!

Anne-Marie Slaughter's recent article in the Atlantic magazine , "Why Women Can't Have It All,"  has fanned the hot debate all over again if women can have the cake and eat it too. She is the latest high-powered female from the Obama administration who has inflamed the "mommy wars" to a raging inferno, by stepping down from her position as the first female director of policy planning at the US State Department, so she could return home to take care of her troubled teenager. 

Slaughter's advice to women is that they should "go out and come back", that is, they should go all out into the workforce to steam their way ahead into the upper echelons of power, but at the same time, be prepared to scale back and return home if the need arises, say, to nurture a troubled child. And that is exactly what she did. She says that in her days as policy director, she attended UN meetings with foreign ministers and heads of state, sipped champagne and mingled with dignitaries at President Obama's receptions, but she worried all the time about her 14-year-old son, back home in New Jersey, failing Math in Grade 8 and "tuning out any adult who tried to reach him."

Clearly, women the world over need support systems in place so they can juggle the harsh realities of career and home, and balance them out well. Women still don't seem to have it all, be it an elite government official or a middle class Mom. Women still have to put their high-flying careers on hold and return to engaged motherhood, whereas men don't seem to have this dilemma at all. Unlike Slaughter, it must be acknowledged though that most working women simply do not have the privilege or luxury of just giving up their jobs and staying home to nurture their children because it is imperative they bring home a pay check each month. And so the debate goes on, if women can have the cake and eat it too!

My Love Affair With Sleep

Let me confess that sleeping in on the weekends is my guilty pleasure. It certainly is a luxury that I loathe to give up, no matter what. I wake up faithfully at 5:30 AM every single day of the work week, so the weekend lie-in is something I look forward to without fail. A couple of hours of extra snooze on the weekends is what I need, so very badly, and it helps me catch up on all that sleep lost during the work week. Or so I thought.

Research now indicates that "sleep debt" can never be paid off by lie-ins, rather it will only upset the circadian cycle, which controls our body clock, in a big way. Sleeping in on Sundays will make it even harder to wake up for work on Mondays, and will make us feel more tired than normal, researchers say. The best way to go about would be to get a regular 8 hours of sleep every night. Easier said than done, don't you think?!?

It's been years and years and years since I've slept a full 8 hours every night, not with working full time and juggling house work as well. I'm the typical harried Mom and career woman, whose to-do list is endless each day, as I go rushing about in a crazy whirl and multi-tasking like there's no tomorrow! Sleep is undoubtedly a luxury for me, so much so that even when we're away on vacation, all I want to do is sleep in, and drive my men nuts, so to speak. So no matter what the researchers say, my love affair with sleep will continue, complete with those heavenly weekend lie-ins!

Punishing A Pedophile

The damning testimony by many child victims against former Penn State assistant football coach and serial pedophile, Jerry Sandusky, 68, saw him being put away behind bars yesterday for a period of 30 - 60 years. In essence, Sandusky is going to spend the rest of his life behind bars because there is no possibility of parole before the minimum 30 years, according to Pennsylvania law. This harsh sentence is something that he so richly deserves, though it is in no way going to mitigate the mental agony and suffering of all the boys that he sexually abused during his tenure at Penn State.

Sandusky has been convicted on 45 counts of child sexual abuse, but what is most heinous is the callous attitude of the university officials towards the crime. Despite one of their own graduate assistants, Mike McQueary, having reported to them of having seen Sandusky raping a child in a locker room shower, the administration seems to have been so bent on safeguarding its own reputation, and hence sweeping the whole thing under the rug. Now that retribution is being doled out, the university has the gargantuan task of redeeming itself and atoning for its sins. And one can only imagine all the legal action that Penn State is going to be mired in, in the years to come!

Pedophiles have always been known to groom their victims before abusing them, and so did Sandusky, through his charitable organization for troubled boys. It gave him the perfect front and provided him with the ideal hunting ground to feed his perversions. Sandusky still insists he did nothing wrong, and is planning to appeal his conviction. He believes he is the victim of a conspiracy hatched against him by the media, Penn State, investigators, prosecutors, and others, and it only goes to show how perpetrators of such heinous crimes are caught up in their own warped realities. It also becomes the sole responsibility of the people around to stop such abuse when they see it happening and help the victims towards hope and rehabilitation.

Full Moon Angsts

I hardly believe in what the pundits foretell in the weekly and daily horoscopes in newspapers and magazines, but I still read them anyways, just for the fun of it all.  I also don't believe in all the hype about the Full Moon creating heartache and havoc in one's life. Sometimes though, when anxieties and distress build up, and there's a heaviness in my heart and the tears come pouring out of nowhere, and later on I realize there's a Full Moon, my sentimental, weak, emotional self begins to wonder if there's a grain of truth, after all, to the fact that Full Moons do cause a lot of tension and tears.

I have to state too that after the Full Moon is gone, for some inexplicable reason, all the down-in-the-dumps feelings just dissipate, making one look back in befuddlement about what all that was about! Is there any scientific truth at all behind the Full Moon angst phenomenon?!? To be honest, I really don't know. Just let me say that last week was one such for me, and I'm now back to being my bubbly, cheerful self, looking forward to all that the days ahead have to bring. The threatening rain clouds are off my horizon now, and I hope for many more days of sunshine, at least until the next Full Moon! :)

Living Solo

I have always been afraid of living solo and used to dread the thought of having to come to an empty house after a hard day's work. I just couldn't understand my friend who always lamented about her sons still living at home with her and how she couldn't wait to get rid of them so she could have the house to herself. Of late though, I've begun to see her point of view, after all. Interestingly enough, households with just one person are increasingly on the rise, according to Statistics Canada, and the phenomenon seems to be spreading worldwide beyond the wealthy Western world. People live alone these days purely because they want to, and because they can.

A decade or so ago, living alone was regarded as something pitiful, but now perceptions have changed and it is more of a status symbol, screaming financial independence and economic well-being. It is being treasured by young and old alike, who have the means to do so, because it grants them freedom and personal control that is just not possible while sharing one's living space with others. To be the master of one's domain is highly appealing in that it reflects the aforementioned modern values of freedom and control that are highly prized in contemporary life.

To have the financial security in a wobbly economy leads some to make the conscious choice of hiving it alone. To be able to cook and clean and watch TV and soak in the tub without worrying about hogging others' space is a luxury beyond compare, and quite epic, so to say. I'm now beginning to see this side of living solo, and to all my friends who have decided to do so, I say without reservation, "More power to you! Have a blast!" 

Graduation Hoopla

Ever since I moved to North America, I haven't been able to understand why there's so much of  hoopla about high school graduations. Growing up in India, passing out of high school was a very down-to-earth, routine, normal event, and was something expected of every teenager. There was no celebration or expense of any sort to mark the occasion, but one was rather preoccupied with the business of securing college or university admissions thereafter. Even university graduations had nothing more than the customary picture with the convocation gown and hat ... Not so, here in North America!

Last Sunday, the kid (!) sauntered out of his room in the afternoon to announce quite nonchalantly, "Oh, by the way, Mom, I need to have my grad pics taken this week!" and this, after my having asked him repeatedly on Friday evening if there was anything from school we had to know. He kept saying there was nothing at all, so his announcement threw me for a loop, but I rallied round enough to make the requisite inquiries, and discovered that the photo registration had to be done online, and lo and behold, all the prime spots had already been taken since we had logged in at the very last minute! The husband eventually managed to book an appointment for Friday evening, but it was a mad rush after that, getting the hair cut and shopping for formal clothes and shoes, all of which had to be done after our work hours during the work week. And I do not even want to get into the nightmare of the shopping episodes here ... who knew shopping for a 16-year-old who has lost an incredible amount of weight could be so grueling! The suits fit, but the pants were all falling off his hips, if you get the drift! In addition, reading all the tips on how to prepare for the one-hour (?!?) photo shoot, the grooming steps to be taken with particular regard to haircut, shaving (no five o'clock shadows, mind you!), and how to avoid breakouts and cover up blemishes, suggestions for clothes coordinated from head to toe, etc., etc., just sent me into a tizzy. 

Well, the pilgrimage to the studio through weekend traffic and the snagging of a parking spot on Vancouver's busy streets saw us at the studio at 6 PM sharp, and so had sundry other parents with their respective kids, all dressed to the hilt. A studio employee ceremoniously explained to the three of us that there would be 20 shots taken in 4 rooms - the White Room, the Middle Room, the Composite Room, and the Library Room, and showed us samples on the monitor to look at. A 30-second video could be thrown in as well, summarizing what could go in the Yearbook, he explained. Personally, I thought everything was over the top - the dressing rooms, the shooting rooms, the waiting lounge, the state-of-the-art cameras, the digital displays and art work in every conceivable space - and was wondering if we were paying for the ambiance as well.

If you really knew my son, you'd know then that posing for the camera is anathema to him! His hitherto normal expression changes to one of utmost seriousness the moment the photographer trains his camera on him ... yesterday was no exception either. We tried coaxing him to smile, but after the shooting in the first room, I gave up, not wanting to torture him and myself, left the Dad with him and retired to the coolness of the waiting lounge, iPad in hand. "Fifty Shades of Grey" was too racy a read in the midst of school kids and their anxious parents, so I settled for the National Geographic until my men returned. The husband said we'd be lucky if at least 2 or 3 out of 20 shots turned out OK! On the way back, we were mad at the kid for having put us through the wringer the entire week, all for naught! Will keep you posted though, how the pictures turned out, for sure! 

Violence In Society

The news media these days are full of stories of chilling premeditated murders, grisly rage killings, ghastly honor killings, gruesome shootings by disgruntled employees, mentally unwell students and other individuals, and macabre cases of dismemberment. Not a single day goes by without a news report of some killing of some kind somewhere. I used to be under the mistaken notion that Canada was a much safer place than the others, but not so anymore. Violence in society seems to be the new norm these days.

Just this past week, I read of a son being arrested for having killed and dismembered his mother and throwing her body parts in a suitcase into a B.C. lake. What a horrid way for this mother to have died with so much of violence at the hands of her own child that she brought into this world! And then there was the case of the spa owner and mother of three in Ontario who was hacked to death and whose body parts were scattered and thrown in the Niagara River and strewn elsewhere. These stories and more make us wonder how degenerate society has become in general, and how humans have become increasingly desensitized to violence these days.

I dare not go anywhere about the shooting rampages at universities and temples. Those once-hallowed halls of learning and worship that were so sacrosanct earlier on are frequently being desecrated these days with senseless shootings. And for a change of venue, movie theaters have now joined the list as well, as the one in Colorado where James Holmes mowed down so many of his fellowmen at the first screening of the latest Batman movie. What horrified me no end was the arrest of daycare workers in the US who were charged with making toddlers as young as three fight with each other.There were those monstrous adults, egging their wards to hit and punch one another, thus endangering the safety of the children under their care. What on earth were they thinking, one wonders, and where are we heading as a society, one might ask?!? There seems to be no known answer to the plague of violence, as pundits and analysts pontificate and take apart each case AFTER it has happened, but there seems to be no way to prevent these ghastly crimes from happening. And life does go on as we wait for the next wave of violence to hit us ... SIGH!!!

Welcome, Work!

Instead of laboring on the Labor Day holiday, here I am on the last day of my summer break, in the last throes of my vacation fever! Delirium there was none, but enough time these past three weeks to simply vegetate, chill out, relax, rejuvenate, and gear up for the work weeks ahead. For some strange reason, I always enjoy the first part of my break, but an insidious lethargy and boredom seem to set in inevitably during the latter half. I couldn't wait for my summer break to begin earlier, and I can't wait to get back to work now - no wonder at all I'm your typical fickle-minded Gemini at that!

Nothing went according to plan this break mostly because of welcome visitors at home. I had intended to do some focused reading these past weeks, but was too preoccupied and fascinated instead with the antics of the toddler at home. Thus it was that I couldn't manage more than a couple of hundred e-pages of the Fifty Shades Trilogy bundle that I'd downloaded on my iPad. The books seem to be a crock load of crap anyways, judging from what I've read so far, so I don't think I've missed much. The usual summer road trip also did not materialize because our five- seat car couldn't accommodate the six of us at home, including our guests. The husband alleviated my disappointment to a certain extent by promising a trip to Hawaii on our next long break, so I spent a considerable part of my lazy days doing some research on our holiday destination and things to do there. I think I'm well-equipped now with enough information to write a travelogue on Hawaii!

So it's back to the grind from tomorrow, but a pleasurable grind, as I always refer to it. After a full day of workshops, it's back to the classroom and my wonderful students again. I simply can't wait to see all my colleagues and friends at work as well. And as always, I'm infinitely thankful that I have a job to go back to, and one that I love very much. Adieu, Summer, and Welcome, Work!!!

On Decibel Levels

Just a brief note to say how high decibel levels have  come to profoundly affect my sense of hearing these days, so much so they are more like an assault on my ears! I simply CANNOT stand people talking loudly, particularly when they are standing next to me. It makes me wonder why they are screaming into my ears, and I'm almost tempted to blurt out, "I'm not deaf, you know!",  but restrain myself from doing so out of politeness to the other person. I also wonder if my low tolerance to high decibel levels is solely because I'm getting older! :)

My teenager at home playing loud music on his iPod or iPhone, the husband increasing the volume on the television or on the woofer of the home theater, a family member talking loudly on the phone (local or overseas) or to one another at home, the car stereo being cranked up, at times even the baby playing loudly - such instances are intolerable to me that I just long for some peace and quiet around the house. The same goes for a stranger on public transit playing his/her iPod music loud enough for the whole world to hear, or my friend increasing her volume while sharing something with excitement, or a raucous party that I'm at, or the deafening decibel levels of a rock concert. The husband tells me that when he went to India after a gap of 6 years, he felt the same way about the noise levels back home, and kept urging family members to talk softly, though he could do nothing about the incessant honking of horns on the road!

The irony is that I consciously talk loudly in the classroom to ensure that every student hears me! The saving grace then, at least for me, is that I automatically tone my voice down when I get out of the classroom. The problem is that I expect people around me to do the same. Perhaps there's something wrong with me and I need to have my ears tested, or perhaps it's just that now that I've joined the fifties club, my intolerance for increased sound levels is growing in proportion to my age!

Toddler Tales

Our 2-year-old grandnephew, Kavin, is visiting us from Atlanta. It's been a long time since we've had a toddler around the house, so it was a long-forgotten experience for us, preparing the house for his arrival - dusting, mopping, sterilizing, sanitizing, and what not!Since his Mom has no time off from work, he flew in with his Grandma Anu last Saturday, and life has been so entertaining since then, watching all his antics and seeing the world through his eyes. The "terrible two's" they say, and Kavin is ample proof of that, albeit in a very endearing and enjoyable way.

My husband and I are Kavin's Granduncle and Grandaunt, but there are too many Aachis (grandmas) and Thathas (grandpas) around, so we were wondering how to introduce ourselves to the baby. Well, to make the story short, the husband is now "Kanna Thatha", but I am "Aunty", despite everyone telling him I'm "Grandma". So that's a hundred percent score with me ... LOL! We're still correcting him, every time he calls me "Aunty"! And my son is "Anna" (elder brother), not "Uncle"! The kid categorically stated, "I'm too young to be called 'Uncle'." ... so 'Anna' it is for now! I was teaching the baby everybody's names. "Thatha's name is ...," I would say, and he would complete it, "Kanna." "Anna's name is ... Dinesh," but when I said, "Grandma's name is ...," he promptly replied, "Aunty!" Ha ha ha ...

Everything in the house is Kavin's - the chair, the couch, the bed, the kitchen utensil, the medicine, whatever it maybe, "It's Kavin's!" The husband came home with a box of strawberries, his favorite, and also introduced him to blueberries. Instantly, the blueberries became his favorite, and when Kanna Thatha asked him for one, he covered the box with his tiny hand and said, "No, it's Kavin's!" And then there's the baby talk ... train is "choo choo", the ambulance is "wah wah" (imitating its siren!), toilet is "TT", and so on. Now all of us at home are so much into the baby talk that we're afraid we might forget the actual vocabulary while talking to others!

The baby has taken a shine to Dinesh and follows him like a lamb. We have to tell our teenager to be gentle with the baby, to which he goes, "He has to be tough. We have to raise him like a warrior!" Yeah, right! Kavin is used to watching his Mickey Mouse cartoons on his "iPa" (iPad), so when he sees me on the computer, he clambers on to my lap and asks for YouTube ... talk about wired kids these days! Having the little fellow around is like having a whirlwind in the house - just a bundle of non-stop whizzing and endless energy! He's a little thin now, so our mission is to make him eat healthy and put on some weight before he heads back home to his Mom. He has become so attached to us, we'll miss him terribly when he leaves ... and I bet his Mom in Atlanta misses him sorely now too! 

At the pier at White Rock Beach, Surrey

Love you, Kavin!!! 

On Milestones And More ...

2012 has been a year of joys and wonders and pleasure and pain so far, all within reasonable bounds, but needless to say, this has been a very special year that saw two milestones reached in the month of June. On June 7, the husband and I celebrated our Silver Anniversary, and on June 18, yours truly turned 50, the latter still something quite unbelievable to me! There have been health setbacks and heartbreak as well in these months, but as my mother often told me to, I'm counting my blessings and thanking the good Lord for all His infinite mercies!

25 years of togetherness and marital accord is no small matter, and I take pride in the fact that the husband and I have managed not to kill each other during this period of time ... ha ha ha! Jokes aside, the chemistry between us is still as strong as ever, and has endured the passage of time. I have seen many a marriage crumble around me, but we have had a smooth sailing so far particularly because love has been the overriding factor, above all else, in our relationship. That, plus  understanding and respecting one another, and being proud of each other's strengths and also accepting of one another's weaknesses, have kept major conflicts out of the door. The husband is a Hindu, whereas I am a Christian, but we have never allowed religion to be a bone of contention or discord between us at any time in these 25 years. Well-meaning Christian friends and family keep reminding me that I should "bring him to the Lord," but I, for one, firmly believe that religion should be a matter of choice and not be forced on the spouse in the name of love.   Even if he were to have no religion at all, that would be fine with me as well (in fact, that is the kid's stance, right now). The husband and I still keep our own religions, and our marriage has stood the test of time because of our tolerance for each other's religion. Also, each other's family has been very dear to us - another factor that has cemented our relationship, I must say.

And then, of course, I've joined the 50's Club recently, much to my disbelief! As the youngest child in my family, I have always been babied by my older siblings. I also teach young adults at college and my constant interaction with young minds has always made me feel young at heart. Besides, thanks to some good genes passed on to me by my parents, I still look young enough, and I don't feel a day older than when I was at 25! Milestones apart, it is my fervent prayer that life continue in all its goodness, that we live each day in love and in happiness, and count our blessings every single day!

London's Magnificent Games

The Brits have done it ... the thirtieth Olympiad has just concluded in London, and what a magnificent show it was! The British media went all out to criticize the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver, but eventually had to eat crow, and while the world waited this time round for London to falter, all was well that ended well. We have to give it to the Brits ... they sure know how to put on a spectacular show! The games were off to a fantastic start and thereafter filled with everyday events of heroism, extraordinary sportsmanship, repeated breaking of world and Olympic records, and the inevitable cases of heartbreak as well, but the closing ceremony ensured that the nostalgia would last until the next Games in 2014, in Sochi.

Looking back at the Games, certain moments stand out above all else. The coronation of Michael Phelps as the unsurpassed Monarch of the Pool and the greatest Olympian of all time, with a record 22 medals - 18 of them gold, 2 silver, and 2 bronze - is certainly the foremost of them, and quite staggering at that! Usain Bolt's phenomenal wins in both the 100 m and 200 m sprints on the track in two consecutive Olympics sealed his reputation as the fastest man on the planet, and as "a legend," in his own words. I, for one, would appreciate some modesty and humility in world-class athletes, but Humility certainly doesn't seem to be Usain Bolt's middle name. South Africa's Oscar Pistorius astounded everyone by competing with his prosthetic legs, and so was every single Canadian by the unfairness of the women's semi-final soccer game between Canada and the US. 

The closing ceremony was a fitting finale to all the high octane, adrenalin-filled drama of the Olympics, and Britain did itself proud with its long list of stars and pop names. The exhilaration and euphoria of the evening was quite palpable - Ray Davies and the Kinks singing "Waterloo Sunset," Annie Lennox belting out "Little Bird" on a great ship, Brian May and Roger Taylor from Queen with their "We Will Rock You," John Lennon's ghostly though inspiring rendition of "Imagine," the not-so-young-anymore Spice Girls reuniting for one last time, Fatboy Slim, the Kaiser Chiefs, the Who, Beady Eye, to mention a few - you name them, they were all there to entertain and to enthrall!  

As Sebastian Coe, the legendary British runner and one of the brains behind the London Olympics, put it succinctly, " heroism and heartbreak" characterized the Olympics, and there were plenty of instances of both in these Games. All said and done, the Games were simply magnificent, no doubt about that at all! 

I'm Baaack!!!

I certainly feel elated to have regained my blogging mood after a pretty long hiatus of over three months! So much has happened over this period - the good, the bad, the ugly, the wonderful, and a whole host of other experiences that just made me pause, take a deep breath, ruminate about things, and take stock of my life, in general. Mercifully, I have survived life's roller coaster (excuse the cliche!) and am still alive to tell the tale!

There are certain moments in one's life when the need to escape takes precedence over everything else, and so was it with me. For reasons that are too personal to state on a blog post, I just wanted to lie low for a while and take things slow, one day at a time. Now that enough time has passed for a breather, and I've regained my blogging self all over again (the redundancy here is intentional), I feel compelled to share the most wonderful things (if not the unpleasant ones) that have happened to me in the intervening time, in my subsequent posts, so watch out, world!

It's been three years now since I started this blog, and the inexorable passage of time has seen me grow in years and in experience... no grey hair yet, but certainly the wiser in my outlook on life! The learning curve has been pretty steep with its inevitable highs and lows, but I am simply and truly grateful to all my faithful friends and followers who have sustained me with their loyalty and support! Until my next post, I take leave with the following chorus I learnt as a child:
    "Whether the weather be good
     Or whether the weather be not
     Whether the weather be cold
     Or whether the weather be hot
     We'll weather the weather
     Whatever the weather
     Whether we like it or not!" :)

In Memoriam: Vellaichamy Ganapathy

On Friday, April 20, 2012, we received the shocking news that our friend Ganapathy (whom I called "Annan," meaning "elder brother") was in a coma in Madurai, India. That was definitely a bolt from the blue, because we had spoken to him just the previous month and had no clue at all that he was dying. Well, we learned that he had liver cancer, and chose not to disclose it to anyone, lest they pity him or feel sorry for him. By the time they had diagnosed the deadly disease, it was Stage IV already, with virtually no scope for treatment whatsoever, and Ganapathy Annan chose not to distress others by revealing to them that his death was imminent. He had eventually told his wife, our dear friend Padma, that his days on the planet were numbered, and then only a few close family members were kept informed.


What was shocking to me, in particular, was that Ganapathy Annan had been a teetotaler and a non-smoker. During our 25 year association with him, we had never seen him even touch a beer for that matter. The cause then, had been his having contracted a Hepatitis B infection several years ago, when he had been in his twenties. With the agonizing knowledge of his impending death,  just two months ago, he had arranged for the marriage of his son, Karthik. Even Karthik had been informed of his Dad's cancer only after the wedding was over. All these revelations on that fateful Friday threw us for a loop, and we learned of his passing away the very next day, on Saturday, April 21, 2012. Ganapathy Annan had been my husband's colleague at Madura Coats, Madurai, and we had forged a bond with him and his family, and his extended family as well, down the years. Now it was time for us to reminisce about all the good old times, and pray that God be merciful on him and not let him suffer, that God give the strength to his family to bear their great, unspeakable loss.


My husband I were newly-weds 25 years ago, and Ganapathy Annan and Padma had two young children at the time. Our friendship was beautiful - visiting each other's homes, chatting into the long hours of the night, eating "kari dosai" (mutton dosai) at Konar  Kadai in Madurai, drive-in style, driving out of town on road trips, constructing our houses, watching our children grow, etc., etc., Then when we moved to the US, Ganapathy Annan came to visit us in California. We have very fond memories of all those good old times, and devastated as we are now at his loss, we pray that his soul rest in peace and that all his loved ones find comfort in the sweet memories they have of him.


RIP, Ganapathy Annan!

Rich Parents

With its influx of millionaires from all over the world, China, in particular, Vancouver has been seeing a never-before-seen display of ostentation and wealth these past few years. From multi-million dollar homes to flashy cars to pricey yachts to admission into the elite moneyed clubs to endless rounds of golf and what not, there has been a spectacular hike in the extent to which flamboyance could possibly go. As can be concluded then, rich parents beget rich offspring, who in turn display their parents' wealth to unbelievable extremes. I have had students from all over the world who have no regard for money whatsoever, whose spending money each month could support a huge family in dire financial straits, just like that. 


No surprise then that one of my 19-year-old students bought himself a brand new Porsche, a few years ago, and proudly showed it off to all his friends, including the Instructor. Interestingly, I happened to notice that the teachers were all driving beat up old jalopies, as could be seen from the cars in the Faculty parking lot, but the student parking lot was full of high end cars - Lamborghinis, Porsches, BMWs, Maseratis, Benzes, and what not! And then there was this young girl who invited her classmates to her place on a Friday evening, and boy, what stories they had to tell, come Monday morning! Her house happened to be a huge estate with extensive landscaped gardens, and dinner was a lavish affair with a free-flowing wet bar and gourmet food served by uniformed waiters! Need I say more?!?


The police in Vancouver impounded nearly a dozen high end cars last summer for illegal racing on the highways, endangering others' lives, and it was discovered that all these cars were driven by the sons of new immigrants to Canada, some of them not even having a full driver's licence. The police decided to auction off the cars, but the boys were back again on the roads, their parents having bought them yet another new, flashier car! Money happens to grow on those proverbial trees for these families, What values are such parents imparting to their kids, and where will it all go, I shudder to think!?! The ostentatious display of money is sometimes depressing to lesser mortals who have to work hard for a living and struggle to make both ends meet, but the sad truth is that rich parents rule!

Time To Smell The Coffee

Happy Easter! I sincerely pray that this Day of Resurrection also be a day of revival of all our hopes, dreams, and aspirations. I am enjoying a four-day Easter break, a mellowed-down version from last year's, when we went on a family road trip in the Pacific Cascades this time around. This year we couldn't do anything fancy since the husband had to work, but the kid and I just chilled out at home in each other's company, cooking our favorite foods, relaxing with a book, and sleeping in every day. We lead very mechanical lives day in and day out, and hardly have time to smell the roses, but this break, I'm having ample time to smell the coffee at home, so to speak! LOL!

Yesterday, we'd been to Queen Elizabeth Park to spend a delightful afternoon there. Nine years in Vancouver, and we'd never been to this awesome place before, the highest point in Vancouver at 510 ft. above sea level. My students used to laugh at me when they found out I'd never been there, so this time I was determined to make amends and make a visit to the place everyone keeps raving about. The park is a horticultural jewel, truly speaking, and its 130 acres of lush greenery with its ornamental trees and shrubs is a sight to behold. The Bloedel Floral Conservatory and its collection of exotic flora, fauna, birds and fish was well worth the entry tickets we paid for. The Quarry Gardens, the Rose Gardens, the pond with its brood of ducks, the picnic greenscapes for families, the sunshine and perfect weather, and the endless rows of cherry trees in full bloom made for a perfect outing. On our way back home, we stopped at Starbucks for some multigrain bagels, banana loaves and coffee, and picked up some Chinese takeout for dinner. All that, and all the time in the world this break to smell the coffee made this a memorable long weekend indeed! :)

Life's Lemons

Sometimes life is really unfair. All the tall talk about good karma and "what goes around comes around" is crap. If one were to do good all the time, then why doesn't it come around to bless them and keep them happy? Time and time again, I have seen very good people being assailed by all kinds of misfortunes in life, while the evil and the wicked just thrive and prosper in life. There's a proverb in my native language that pretty much translates to a king (killing) punishing a wayward subject right away, but God waiting to (kill) punish the bad person. Now how long that wait is, is the tactical question that no one has ever found the answer to. Anyways, this post is not about my anger about those whom I consider to be wicked, rather it's just about the unfairness of life, period.

"When life hands you lemons, make lemonade," the saying goes, but when life hands you one too many lemons, then what do you do? There's only so much one can take, and when there's a surfeit of problems, all coping mechanisms fail. It then becomes increasingly difficult not to succumb to the paralysis of the negative. Hope and activity are two survival issues or coping mechanisms that help us cling on to sanity, and were it not for those key aspects, all of us would be basket cases for sure. Hope for a better tomorrow, and immersing oneself in activity are sure ways of countering the negatives in life, and the better one understands this, the better one's chances of eventual happiness in life!