Creative Tweets 2

Here are more of my tweets (140 characters including space and punctuation marks) for the week that I have just split into 4 lines each for convenience's sake:

Delectable dishes before me
Pizza, tacos, sushi and salads
But I long for the smells of my mother's kitchen
Mixed with her love divine!

On a lazy Saturday morning
I lounge around in my PJS coffee cup in hand
Using my imagination to turn my home
Into the sanctuary I deserve!

Viewed from my roofdeck
A tiny skiff pulls a lumber-laden barge
Hugely reminiscent of our burdens
As we go with the ebb n flow of life.

The rain pelting on my window
"Water Cycle" learned as a child
Is this the same water then, I wonder
That the dinosaurs of yore drank?!?

Eyes open, in my bed at 5.30 AM
The glorious yellow orb of the moon outside my window
Dissipating all of y'day's Full Moon angst
Perfect!

A Visit To The Law Courts

Teaching a class of immigrant students comes with its own perks and advantages. A core component of the curriculum is going on field trips and I make full use of it to educate my students about anything and everything they might have in mind about Canada. Yesterday, Gayane's class and mine went on one such field trip to the law courts in New West, arranged exclusively for us by the Justice Education Society of BC. Our students learn about English for the workplace, work skills, the Canadian workplace culture, labor market information, employability in Canada, and other related settlement issues. They learn about labor laws, working in BC, the court system in Canada, and so on, and it was in this regard that we got the unique opportunity of visiting the courthouse and watching the legal system at work.

We were met in the lobby of the courthouse by a Sheriff who explained the do's and the don'ts to all of us while the courts were in session. He also listed out a list of interesting trials that were going on in the different courtrooms. No wonder then that most of us zeroed in on a sensational murder trial that was on, one that involved cocaine trafficking, prostitutes, and a triple homicide! It was very difficult to believe that the innocent looking defendant could have been capable of committing such heinous crimes. It was quite riveting to watch the prosecutor and the defense attorney in action in the august presence of the judge, and considering that this was a high profile case, the entire action was behind bullet proof glass, with the arguments amplified by microphones for the benefit of the audience seated behind the glass barriers. We were free to walk into any of the courts that were in session, and we all took turns visiting the provincial courts on the second floor, the small claims courts, and also the superior courts. Quite a lesson about the legal system, I might say!

We also had the unique privilege of having a private session with Judge Steinberg, and what an interesting Q & A session that was! Mine was the first question for him: "As a judge, do you get to pick and choose the cases that you like or want? If not, who assigns the cases to the various judges?," I asked. From there, a volley of questions from the students kept flying, and I was quite proud that they all asked sensible questions indeed. Let me just say that even Judge Steinberg was impressed! He was very keen to find out where my students hailed from and having learned that they came from different parts of the globe, commented that this was possible only in Canada. True indeed, it was a valuable lesson of sorts for these new immigrants from Korea, China, Japan, Thailand, Russia, Mexico, Iran, Cambodia, Brazil, etc., etc. The judge seemed to have visited many countries himself, and when I told him I was originally from India, he asked me if I came from Madras. It looks like he had visited Madras a long time ago, and was interested to learn that the city has since been renamed Chennai.

The visit to the courthouse reinforced the fact that the judiciary is a vital part of any efficiently functioning country, and along with the executive and the legislative branches, forms virtually the backbone of a nation. The respect and deference accorded to the judge and the attorneys almost tempted me to abandon my teaching profession, join law school and take up a legal career in the future. How old is too old to start a new career? Who knows, perhaps I might!!!

Creative Tweets 1

Strange how boredom at times can lead one to creative spurts in the oddest of places. I take public transit to work every day and keep hopping off from bus to skytrain to bus, day in and day out. The commute can get kind of weary were it not for my Blackberry Bold. It's like a toy in the hands of an inquisitive child and I keep dabbling with it incessantly, just to ward off my boredom. I have become increasingly tech savvy, I must admit, thanks to my smartphone. Not only have I downloaded the Facebook app on my Blackberry, but quite recently the Twitter app as well. And I have learned to sync my tweets on Twitter with my updates on Facebook! :) God bless RIM and hallelujah to the smartphone!!!

For want of nothing better to do while on transit, I have started tweeting on the bus about things that I see or hear about. The limitations of having to tweet within 140 characters is an inherent challenge that I particularly seem to enjoy. The tightness of the tweet is really sweet, yet liberating in its own way. Here's my tweet about the cherry blossoms heralding the Spring season in Vancouver:

Pink and white cherry blossoms
A canopy above, a carpet beneath,
An endless wave of hues
Awash on the canvas of my soul.

The kid who I'm very proud of has told me not to brag about him on my blog or elsewhere. The proud mother that I am, I snuck in a tweet about him, much to his embarrassment:

My 14 year old, 6 ft. baby
Towering head and shoulders above me
Gentle giant, lovable monster
Energizing my life with meaning.


Much has been read and heard of the volcanic eruption in Iceland, but still, here's my tweet about it:

Volcanic eruption - molten lava, spewing ash clouds
Stranded airline passengers
Each made a modern-day Ulysses
On epic overland odysseys.

I hope these creative spurts continue endlessly. Happy tweeting to myself!!!

On Being A Strict Non-vegetarian

I am by far a notoriously strict non-vegetarian who definitely lacks the will power and strength of mind to stay away from meat or seafood, the latter being my food of choice. I have the greatest of admiration for my friends who have converted to vegetarianism, but then again they are few and far between, few enough to be counted on the fingers of my hands. I have heard people tout vegetarianism with conviction and gusto, read countless printed material that preaches its merits and virtues, but just when I'm about to have a change of heart and turn vegetarian myself, the smell of fried fish or the sight of crab, shrimp, lobster, and other assorted seafood makes me dig in my heels. Can't say the same for meat though ... not a big meat lover, but I'm positive I definitely can't renounce seafood, EVER!

I'm the kind who goes to the aquarium, sees all these beautiful fish swimming in their tanks, and is assailed by an urge to rush home and cook some spicy fish curry for dinner. As if the right place for fish, in my mind, is the cooking pot and not the aquarium! Strange how the mind works! I guess I might have picked up this fondness for seafood from my paternal grandmother whom I used to visit during my summer vacation as a child. I would hold her hand and traipse along with her to the market on Sundays, and one of my favorite stops was always the fish stalls in the market where my grandmother would pick and choose the best ones to be cooked for lunch that day. I would watch the maid gut and clean the fish and prepare it for cooking, but it was always my grandmother who actually made the fish curry. She was the chef nonpareil, the connoisseur who took the making of fish curry to the level of an art form. She would have a special earthen pot singularly dedicated for cooking the fish curry, her belief being that the clay or mud pot brought out the unique flavor of the fish unlike a metal one. It did, I most certainly would say.

My father inherited this love for seafood from his mother, and I seem to have got the trait from him, I guess. I remember one of his postings in Kerala as an officer in the Southern Railways, and his living quarters was right next to the ocean. We would walk on the beach and buy freshly caught fish directly from the fishermen as they hauled their catch ashore, a memory etched in my mind to this day. I was a little child then, but I vividly remember eating fish for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and never growing tired of eating it for every meal. The same went for crab, prawns, and lobster. Cracking the crab shell was an art honed to perfection, and I remember my old grandmother getting at the succulent crab meat with a nicely rounded pebble/rock when she had lost her teeth and couldn't bite into the crab any longer.

Came the husband and the kid, and I find their tastes are quite different from mine. The husband and I eat a lot of vegetables, and of course, a lot of seafood as well, but the husband eats fish only when it's hot and freshly cooked. I, however, am of the opinion that fish curry tastes better when it ages a day or two( in the fridge, of course!). The kid, on the other hand, is a meat enthusiast. It's chicken every day for him, or the meal is not complete. Suits me very well, I should say. My love for seafood continues unabated and living virtually close to the Pacific Ocean has only helped me revel in it more! As for my vegetarian friends, my admiration for them keeps growing as well, in tandem with my love for the ocean inhabitants!

A Spring Break To Remember!

Had a fantastic Spring Break 2010, one I'll remember for years to come! Nothing mind-blowing or spectacular, but a welcome break from my daily routine, 11 sweet days of unadulterated bliss! The husband and I lead very busy, mechanical lives, day in and day out. That's life for you in North America, with no time to stop and stare or take in the simple joys of life. The weekdays are tightly packed and humdrum, while the weekends are devoted to the inevitable chores around the house - dusting, vacuuming, mopping, doing the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, etc., etc. - and before you know it, the weekend is over and another crazed week looms large ahead. This year my break was special because my sister-in-law Anu (who's visiting her daughter in Ohio) came to Vancouver, and the husband, kid, and I got to do the whole tourist thing with her.

Anu at Butchart Gardens

I turned the house upside down for Anu's visit, cleaning every nook and corner and crevice and cranny, only to be made fun of by my 14-year old. "Why are you cleaning the back of the cupboard doors with anti-bacterial wipes, Mom? D'you think Athai's (Aunty's) going to check behind the doors and give you an 'A' for cleanliness?," he went on with his ribbing, but I plodded on, giving the house a makeover because that's exactly when the house gets one, when visitors come a-knocking! I was sooo looking forward to Anu's visit because she's more of a friend to me than a sister-in-law, and we have a sort of great history together (which I can't say of anyone else from the husband's side of the family!), so I was determined to be extremely hospitable to her and make her stay as pleasant as possible for her! If I felt that way, you can imagine how the husband must've felt about his beloved sister's visit! An itinerary of places to visit was made, the freezer and fridge were over-stocked with her favorite items, the menu was decided ... all for just 9 days of her stay in Vancouver. The kid was quick to comment: "One would think Barack Obama was spending the Spring Break with us!" Not that he doesn't love his Anu Athai, but he just loves to pull his parents' legs and mock them from time to time! :)

The husband and I outside the solarium at Butchart

Anu dwarfed by the Inukshuk in Whistler

For me, it was a delight revisiting familiar places all over again for Anu's benefit - the ferry ride to Victoria, the extended walk in the drizzle around Butchart Gardens, the leisurely stroll around the streets of downtown Victoria, the mindless shopping spree at the Seattle Premium Outlets, the sights from the Space Needle and in Pike Place in Seattle, the feel of the driving wet snow against our faces in Whistler, the heart-stopping gondola ride from the summit of Whistler to Blackcomb Mountains, taking her around Vancouver's famous landmarks such as Stanley Park, Capilano Suspension Bridge, Science World, and so on, window-shopping at Metrotown, visiting the Olympic Oval in Richmond, strolling along the Quayside in New Westminster along the Fraser River, taking the Seabus across the Bay and looking for photo ops in Lonsdale Quay - the list goes on and on. Throw in our eating at our favorite restaurants, cooking for Anu at home in between our sightseeing jaunts, and of course our non-stop chattering and giggling like school girls - the entire Spring Break was a sensory delight, I must say!

Brother and sister on the Capilano Suspension Bridge

The happy but tired trio after an endless walk in the Sunken Gardens
Braving the cold on Whistler Mountain

It was with sadness that we put Anu back on her plane to Ohio. I was spoiled rotten by the husband during Spring Break, courtesy of his sister, and now it's back to the grind again. Like a willful child, I keep wondering why life can't be an endless vacation?!? My heart yearns for me to take off into the parts unknown, take each day as it comes, and live life to the fullest. Wishful thinking on my part, but I can at least hold on to the memories of my Spring Break 2010 with Anu for now!

On "Sexting" And Philandering Husbands

A long time ago, a very long time ago, the tangible evidence a wife could find of her cheating husband were usually a receipt from a seedy motel long forgotten in his pant pocket or a bill of purchase of a sexy perfume or aftershave, something out of the ordinary for her otherwise staid husband. In some cases though, as in an old movie, the telltale evidence would be the imprint of red lipstick on the collar of his pristine white shirt. All these truly belong to a bygone era, while the latest evidence of relationship betrayal is something governed by the social media. The 'in thing' in these days of mobile phones and instant communication is the surreptitious "sexts" sent by philandering husbands to their home wrecking mistresses.

The latest media sensation has been of the philandering ways of motorcycle badboy Jesse James, husband of, and soon-to-be ex-husband of Oscar-winning actress Sandra Bullock. The "sexts" he had sent to his tattoo model and stripper mistress Michelle "Bombshell" McGee have come back to bite him on the butt and are doing their rounds on the Internet, much to the outrage of America and the rest of the world at the betrayal of their darling Sandra. And since then there have been at least four other women who have claimed that Jesse had been messing around with them while Sandra was busy filming her movies. How could a man who worked magic with his monster machines have just stupidly wrecked his marriage to America's sweetheart, who was everything that he was not?!?

And then there's Tiger Woods who's taken the game of marital infidelity to a whole new level! Women with whom he'd cheated on his wife Elin Nordegren, have come crawling out of the woodwork and all these pornstars, waitresses, strippers, and so-called models have been having their 15 minutes of fame divulging the salacious details of their relationship with Tiger and releasing the raunchy, crude, cringe-worthy "sexts" he's exchanged with them. What was he thinking? How could this man, hitherto known for his extreme sense of privacy, have been so dumb as to have traded these explicit text messages with these women? Perhaps he thought he was invincible and that the billions he'd earned on the golf circuit and with his endorsement deals made him a sort of demi-god transcending the mundane morality of ordinary folks. God knows!

The sordid stories of celebrity cheating go on and on. An increasing number of men and women have been entranced by the social media and fall prey to these kinds of addictive urges, often forgetting the fact that anything they type or say or write leave digital footprints in cyberspace, never to be deleted and never to be lost. All that is saved and stored in the digital world will come back to haunt them and will be paraded in public by unscrupulous individuals when and where there's money to be made. When people give in to their lust and are foolish enough to flaunt their explicitly sexy thoughts and desires through their back and forth "sexting", enormous damage is done to their reputation, as evidence is piled against them in cyberspace. Whether Tiger Woods or Jesse James will be able to resurrect their reputation or careers remains to be seen, but what proves to be a fact is that "sexting" is the new tool for philandering husbands and lands them inevitably in ignominy and disgrace!

"Love, Sex, And The Male Brain" by Louann Brizendine

Found some answers to my questions related to my previous blog on cheating and betrayal. Read this article on CNN Opinion and found it fascinating. I think the author's medical point of view provides a rational explanation of the bewildering behavior of men at times.

Love, sex and the male brain

By Louann Brizendine
March 24, 2010

Dr. Louann Brizendine is a member of the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology and the National Board of Medical Examiners, and a clinical professor of psychiatry at the University of California, San Francisco. She is founder and director of the Women's Mood and Hormone Clinic. She wrote "The Female Brain" and, just released, "The Male Brain."

(CNN) -- Although women the world over have been doing it for centuries, we can't really blame a guy for being a guy. And this is especially true now that we know that the male and female brains have some profound differences.

Our brains are mostly alike. We are the same species, after all. But the differences can sometimes make it seem like we are worlds apart.

The "defend your turf" area -- dorsal premammillary nucleus -- is larger in the male brain and contains special circuits to detect territorial challenges by other males. And his amygdala, the alarm system for threats, fear and danger is also larger in men. These brain differences make men more alert than women to potential turf threats.

Meanwhile, the "I feel what you feel" part of the brain -- mirror-neuron system -- is larger and more active in the female brain. So women can naturally get in sync with others' emotions by reading facial expressions, interpreting tone of voice and other nonverbal emotional cues.

There's the 'Man Trance,' that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts.
--Louann Brizendine

Perhaps the biggest difference between the male and female brain is that men have a sexual pursuit area that is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain. Not only that, but beginning in their teens, they produce 200 to 250 percent more testosterone than they did during pre-adolescence.

If testosterone were beer, a 9-year-old boy would be getting the equivalent of a cup a day. But a 15-year-old would be getting the equivalent of nearly two gallons a day. This fuels their sexual engines and makes it impossible for them to stop thinking about female body parts and sex.

And so begins the 'Man Trance'

All that testosterone drives the "Man Trance"-- that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts. As a woman who was among the ranks of the early feminists, I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't. Their visual brain circuits are always on the lookout for fertile mates. Whether or not they intend to pursue a visual enticement, they have to check out the goods.

To a man, this is the most natural response in the world, so he's dismayed by how betrayed his wife or girlfriend feels when she sees him eyeing another woman. Men look at attractive women the way we look at pretty butterflies. They catch the male brain's attention for a second, but then they flit out of his mind. Five minutes later, while we're still fuming, he's deciding whether he wants ribs or chicken for dinner. He asks us, "What's wrong?" We say, "Nothing." He shrugs and turns on the TV. We smolder and fear that he'll leave us for another woman.

Men look at attractive women the way women look at pretty butterflies.
--Louann Brizendine

Not surprisingly, the different objectives that men and women have in mating games put us on opposing teams -- at least at first. The female brain is driven to seek security and reliability in a potential mate before she has sex. But a male brain is fueled to mate and mate again. Until, that is, he mates for life.

Despite stereotypes to the contrary, the male brain can fall in love just as hard and fast as the female brain, and maybe more so. When he meets and sets his sights on capturing "the one," mating with her becomes his prime directive. And when he succeeds, his brain makes an indelible imprint of her. Lust and love collide and he's hooked.

The 'Doting Daddy Brain'

A man in hot pursuit of a mate doesn't even remotely resemble a devoted, doting daddy. But that's what his future holds. When his mate becomes pregnant, she'll emit pheromones that will waft into his nostrils, stimulating his brain to make more of a hormone called prolactin. Her pheromones will also cause his testosterone production to drop by 30 percent.

These hormonal changes make him more likely to help with the baby. They also change his perceptual circuitry, increasing his ability to hear a baby cry, something many men can't do very well before their wives are pregnant.

And a word to the wise for all the young mothers who are reluctant to let your husbands hold and care for your newborn. The more hands-on care a father gives his infant, the more his brain aligns with the role of fatherhood. So, hand over the baby.

His emotions run deep

Although men have earned the reputation for being more stoic than women, they actually have stronger emotional reactions than we do. They just don't show it very often.

The male brain can fall in love just as hard and fast as the female brain, and maybe more so.
--Louann Brizendine

Studies of men's faces show that the male brain's initial emotional reaction can be stronger than the female brain's. But within 2.5 seconds, he changes his face to hide the emotion, or even reverse it. The repeated practice of hiding his emotions gives men the classic poker face.

It's his poker face and his analytical response to personal problems that can put him in the doghouse. She's crying as she talks about what's wrong with the relationship, and instead of hugging her, his mind is racing to find a way to resolve the problem as soon as possible. With practice and because of the way their brains are wired, men use their analytical brain structures, not their emotional ones, to find a solution.

They enjoy this advantage, but women often take affront to it. When you're telling your husband your problem and he tries to solve it instead of hearing you out, you may think he's being insensitive. But that's not what's going on in his brain. He's working to solve the problem so he can relieve your pain as quickly as possible. Not because he doesn't care or doesn't want to listen, but because he loves you.

'Lovable Grandpas' and 'Grumpy Old Men'

As men age, the male brain hormones change and the male brain and body goes into the stage of life called andropause. The king of male hormones -- testosterone -- goes down and the queen of female hormones -- estrogen -- goes up. Whether Grandpa is your kids' hero or the grouch they hate to visit depends a lot on how he handles these hormonal changes. For example, if his testosterone levels drop to an abnormally low level, he can feel tired, irritable and even depressed. Some men in this condition seek hormone replacement therapy and others find relief in exercise, more frequent sex, and spending more time with other people.

Whether Grandpa is your kids' hero or the grouch they hate to visit depends a lot on how he handles these hormonal changes.
--Louann Brizendine

The grandpa that kids can't wait to see is the one who's feeling the effects of the hormone oxytocin, often called the "cuddle hormone." He's fun and playful and likes to hear what his grandchildren have to say. He's much more patient with your children than he was with you, when you were growing up. The love circuits of the ain can be hijacked by his grandkids, even more than they were by his own children.

The 'Lonely Hearts Club'

Not only is the mature male brain more receptive to closer bonds, but it's also more sensitive to loneliness. Nobody thrives when they're lonely, but it seems to take a major toll on older men. Sixty percent of divorces in couples over the age of 50 are initiated by women, leaving their husbands shell-shocked and devastated.

Once his wife leaves, unless he makes a point of socializing more with other people, his brain stops getting the social workout it needs to make him feel good about himself. If he becomes a loner, his social-approval circuits don't get activated. In brain scan studies of older males researchers have found that the brain's pleasure and reward areas, the VTA and the NAc, remain more active in men who are social. So don't begrudge the divorcee or the new widower some socializing and seeking female companionship.

The bottom line

The human brain is the best learning machine on the planet and human beings are capable of making major changes in our lives. But there are some things that the male brain and female brain are not likely to change anytime soon. And it makes more sense to deal with these brain realities, than to argue with them or ignoring them.

The best advice I have for women is make peace with the male brain. Let men be men.

The opinions expressed in this commentary are solely those of Louann Brizendine.