Thursday, November 11, 2010

Master Manipulators

How well our children manipulate us! They play us like a finely tuned instrument and twist us around their little finger, smiling oh so bewitchingly and talking oh so convincingly while doing so, till it takes us a while to realize we've been had for a ride! But by then it's too late to go back on whatever promise we've made in a moment of temporary insanity and complete trust in our little devils. From seeing them as these helpless infants in our arms to watching them pitch their Machiavellian tricks as teenagers on their unsuspecting parents is a metamorphosis that is unrivalled on the planet. They know exactly what our weakness is, lull us into moments of fleeting ecstasy, and then go for the kill. Sounds familiar, folks?!?

It so happened that I was heading home from work yesterday when the husband called and exclaimed ," Do you know that Dinesh got a 29 out of 30 on that Science poster he submitted on Monday?" "Really? Did he call you? How come he didn't call ME today?", I asked. That was a bit strange, calling the Dad on his drive back home to give this piece of information, I thought. It's usually the Mom he calls in the evenings with a terse "Mom, I'm back home." There is usually no conversation after that, however hard I try. "How was school?" "Good." "Any homework?" "Yeah." "Anything new?" "No." "What did you learn?" "Nothing." Getting more than a word out of the kid is like pulling teeth, hence the surprise on learning he'd called the Dad!

The minute I walked in, there he was, chatting away non-stop - "Hey Ma, did I tell you I got a perfect on that Math test? And oh yeah, that Science quiz I had yesterday, I got a perfect on that too! And you know what, my Planning teacher said I was a vocal leader in class!" - and so on and so forth came a barrage of his accomplishments at school, as he crowded me and followed me around while I was removing my shoes, throwing my lunch box in the sink, taking my jacket off, and heading to the closet to get rid of my work clothes. I guess by then I'd been softened for the kill! "I'm so proud of you, son! Keep up the good work for the next three years, and then your future'll be made!" I went, and just as I was about to enter the bathroom, came the final volley from the door, "Can I have my PS 3 for the next 4 days? It's a long weekend for me, you know. Can you please tell Dad to let me have it?"

The PlayStation 3 is securely locked away on school days, and usually comes out only during the summer and Christmas breaks, but what do you do when your child has just sprung his successes at school on you and how could you be so evil as to deny him the pleasure of videogaming when he's been such an impeccable student till now? So I mumbled something lamely about breaking the rules only because he's done so well at school, blah blah blah, and since the Dad had already been softened as well even before he reached home, out came the PS 3 and hooked to the HD TV in the living room, all in the blink of an eye! Little did we know that nine of his friends were already online, waiting for him! And he had already set up the bluetooth, concealed in his pocket, so supremely confident that we'd give in and he'd have his way after all!!!

Thus we met Wily Pete, Four Seasonz, Hyperbolic State, Wakeboarder, etc., etc. - all pseudonyms of some 14 something rambunctious teenagers, ready to plunge headlong into a weekend orgy of videogames and swearing and profanity that comes with the territory! The boys have taken over my house in a sense, albeit from their living rooms, and on my Remembrance Day holiday, I'm confined to the bedroom, a stranger in my own home, blogging away from my bed. At least my son had the decency to mute one of his friends ("He swears a lot, Mom!") when I dared to venture into the living room. Four more days to go as I wonder why we were suckered into this mayhem in the first place! Our children are master manipulators after all, aren't they?!?

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