Domestic Violence

It is appalling indeed that many women die at the hands of their husbands, so brutally felled down by the very spouses who are supposed to hold them and cherish them for the rest of their lives. On July 28, Vancouver was aghast and stunned by the shocking killing of 24-year-old Ravinder Kaur Bhangu who was axed to death by her 26-year-old husband, Manmeet Singh, and this, not at home, but at her workplace, the offices of the Punjabi newspaper Sach Di Awaaz in Surrey, on the outskirts of Vancouver. The callous slaying of the administrative assistant took place in broad daylight, and when a colleague rushed to her aid, he too was attacked with a meat cleaver, suffering injuries that had him hospitalized. In a classic case of domestic violence that extended outside the home to the workplace in this case, the murder is yet another addition to the long list of fatalities where abused women become hapless victims.

Young Ravinder is said to have had a love marriage and not an arranged one, as is common in her community. When marriages go sour, it is quite shocking to see the escalating level of acrimony and animosity in the relationship. Where did all the initial love disappear, one might ask, and in arranged marriages as in India, there is not even the buffer of love and understanding in the first place to protect the woman even a wee bit. Ravinder is said to have moved out of her marital home into her aunt's, a few months before the killing, something that might have triggered off the uncontrollable rage in her husband. Sadly enough, the young woman had not confided in anyone what was happening to her at home, which is very important for abused women to do. A colleague of hers seemed to have asked her why she had moved into her aunt's, but all Ravinder had done was to have cried in response and not to have said anything at all, thus leaving the friend in the dark about her real situation.

The Canadian Women's Foundation says that on average, every six days a Canadian woman is murdered by her intimate partner, that is, by her current or former spouse or boyfriend. It is imperative for women to recognize that they are being abused and see how best they can get out of the situation and seek help. There is no shame or stigma about sharing one's plight with friends or trusted colleagues, so there is a support system for the abused woman outside her home. The following URL is a very valuable link that answers questions about violence against women and provides information in understanding the causes and kinds of violence, and why women stay on in abusive relationships: http://www.cdnwomen.org/EN/section05/3_5_1_1-violence_facts.html . I strongly recommend all my immigrant students and friends to read this without fail.

While men are also abused by their partners in some cases, it cannot be denied that more women die at the hands of their husbands than men do at their wives'. I wish young Ravinder had lived on into her sunset years, and not been murdered so heinously by her husband. It is my fervent desire that all women have the strength and confidence to get out of abusive relationships, and not become yet another number added to the long list of domestic violence casualties.