Geriatrics is a field of study I'm beginning to take a closer look at these days. Health management in one's sunset years, and living a productive, independent life till the very end is getting to be one of my concerns of late. Maybe because I saw my mother die of Alzheimer's three years ago, I've been rattled quite a bit, and maybe that's why I keep asking my son if he'll be there for us when my husband and I get old. It sounds really pathetic, I admit, but I can't help this morbid obsession about old age and losing my faculties and becoming a vegetable of sorts. It's mere wishful thinking on my part that I could just fade into the sunset without any of the allied concerns of old age. And it's wishful thinking again as I utter the lines I learned as a child, written by Ralph Hodgson: "Time, you old gipsy man,/ Will you not stay,/ Put up your caravan/ Just for one day?" I know the gipsy man won't stay. It's October already, and the days move swiftly past, as I wait for the unknown, unforeseeable future!
Sunday, October 2, 2011
"Time, You Old Gipsy Man!"
What, is it October already?!? This sure, steady, and swift passage of time is quite alarming to me, now that I'm getting on in years. It was but the twinkling of an eye ago that I was a mere child basking in the love of my immediate and extended family, yet here I am now edging closer to the wrong (?) side of my remaining years on the planet, I know not how many more! Both my parents are dead and gone, I've seen members of my extended family being snatched away quite prematurely, I see all the young children in the family and those of my friends grow up, get married, and have children of their own, all of which remind me of the inexorable passage of time. And then again I ponder about old age, ill health, loneliness, senility, and human mortality in general. On a deeper level, I'm not even afraid of having to die one day, but the loneliness and helplessness that accompany old age, before one dies, absolutely terrify me!
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I thought mam's reading would have some answer for this kind of fear. "Acceptance" must have been the right solution.
ReplyDeleteWhen you see a parent die, the fear of loneliness and inability in old age becomes more immediate and concrete, Sheela.
ReplyDeletei haven't in recent times read anything so good about death. i am so surprised that you have put in word all that is in me about death. i haven't started to take any steps, but dream of hanging around in my garden in madurai. i would love to pass away with my whiskey, listening to music and nostalgic of all that is past in my life.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Reuben! I hope all your wishes for your old age come true! As for me, I simply want to die in my sleep, without any suffering, and without troubling or worrying my loved ones.
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