Teenage Angst

Teenage can be a very awkward stage of life rife with angst, insecurities, rebellion, and what not. Am yet to see (with an exception or two, maybe) a teenager who is poised, mellow, knows what he (and that applies to the other gender as well) wants, and is comfortable in his own skin. The distractions are one too many, the hormones are raging in their maturing bodies, their thoughts are so self-centered, and there's the pressure to do well at school or keep up with their peers that teenagers morph into monsters and turn into absolute strangers to their parents. There is something alien about them at this stage that it makes parents wonder, "Is this the helpless infant I held in my arms not so long ago?!?" And then one might ask their child, "Who ARE you, and what did you do to my sweet kid?" With the right kind of supervision and parental guidance, many teenagers emerge sane and successful, and it's always a big relief for the parents to have their sweet, well-mannered child back after a turbulent, tumultuous teen period!


I have many friends with teenage children who have problems of different kinds. Mood swings seem to be a common one, where a teen can be talkative and communicative one moment, then turn surly or taciturn at another. At moments like these, I think the best thing to do would be to just let them be, give them some space and time to internalize, and then approach them when they have mellowed a bit. Getting teenagers to follow the rules is another, because breaking the rules is an essential teen rite of passage. I have heard parents tell of grounding their teenagers when they break the rules, like a curfew, for example, but then again to no effect whatsoever. Taking away their electronic gadgets or locking away the computer, TV, or game console cables is no punishment either, because an ingenious teen will still find a way to keep himself entertained, like using the landline to call friends and chat with them for hours together. I can sense the frustration in parents when they seem to have hit a dead end when it comes to disciplining their teens.


In North America, drugs, guns, gang violence, and early sex are rampant problems as well that compound the teenage angst. If a boy or girl sails through the teen years without succumbing to any of these, then it should be considered a real blessing. I must mention teenagers who are role models to others, like Afraj Gill, the Surrey teen who scored a perfect in all the seven subjects in Grade 12, and won 100,000 dollars in scholarship to university this year. Quite heartening and uplifting to learn that there are kids who emerge successful inspite of all the angst that is typical of the age! Let me add that my teenager is quite focused, dedicated, motivated, and is working very hard towards his goal, and I sincerely wish the same for other parents with teenagers at home as well!