Reflections on Valentine's Day

Growing up in India, I had no clue what Valentine's Day was. The India of my childhood was a place of repressed and straitjacketed sexuality - no boyfriends or girlfriends, no dating, no kissing, no premarital sex, no living together, not even holding hands in public (even with married folks), very few love marriages, and so on. The very idea of celebrating a day for sweethearts and lovers was preposterous then, so when I returned to India for a visit after many years, I was quite shocked and surprised to see how attitudes and ways of life had changed radically. Valentine's Day is a huge commercial affair now, with card/gift shops at every corner, and young and old alike exchanging cards, gifts, flowers, chocolates, balloons, and so on.

When I moved to America fifteen years ago and witnessed the hullabaloo over Valentine's Day, I wondered what the hoopla was all about. Now I know better, that it's just a commercial enterprise, with businesses hawking their wares from brilliant diamonds to sexy lingerie and what not. Love seems to be a commodity-ridden affair after all, and breakups are just a part of life that people seem to treat casually. It's quite easy to move on and have a different sweetheart or spouse the next Valentine's Day. People go over the top in "showing" their love for their partners, and are quite matter-of-fact about breaking up with them as well. A case in point would be Brad Pitt who had filled his then-wife Jennifer Aniston's green room with thousands of red roses, and had spelled on the wall with rose petals , " I LOVE MY WIFE " - a gesture that was considered extravagantly sweet and had women swooning all over. Not long after, he cheated on her and subsequently divorced her. So much for Valentine's Day proclamations!

My students had left a beautiful bouquet of flowers, a cuddly teddy bear, and a box of sinful chocolates on my desk this year, but that again is a different kind of love. My colleagues never to fail to ask me what my husband gave me for Valentine's Day. When I respond that he gave me a hug and a kiss, just like every other day, they go, "What? No gifts?" Though both my men took me out for dinner that evening, I must admit that it's no big deal with us at home. I'm just grateful for all the love, support, happiness, and laughter we share, and do not need an expensive gift from my husband to prove his love for me. I'd rather we grew older together, sharing all the warmth and companionship of our relationship till the very end.