What's In A Name?

Have been mulling over the use of first names for quite some time now. Having come from an eastern culture where addressing one's elders by their given names is unthinkable for that matter, I have had my own measure of culture shock and eventual acceptance in this regard during my thirteen plus years of living in North America. Having grown up in India, I always addressed my teachers with a great deal of respect and would never have dreamed of calling them by their first names. "Maadhaa, Pidhaa, Guru, Dheivam" (Mother, Father, Teacher, God) the dictum goes, indicating their hierarchy of importance in the cosmic order of things (or people?), and since the teacher preceded even God in that order, one always addressed the teacher with the greatest deference, as "Sir", "Madam", or "Professor".

The same can be said for addressing anyone older in years, be it a sibling, friend, colleague, relative, or neighbor, and there was always a respectful term of reference that was used while talking to them. Having moved to the United States, one of my greatest culture shocks came when I enrolled at university in California, and my professors asked me to call them by name. It took me considerable effort and time to be able to do so, and because they insisted on it, I did manage it by and by, though I initially found it very awkward to look them in the eye and call them "Judy" or "Robert" or whatever. Then there was my sister who called her parents-in-law by name; they being Caucasian and she having lived in the US for nearly three decades, it was quite OK for her to do so, but it sounded rather strange to me at first.

Then I became a College Instructor myself and started calling my Dean "Prof. Smith," only to be promptly reminded to call him "Jim." Now I have grown accustomed to all my students calling me by name, and even with the odd one who does otherwise, I go, "Please feel free to call me Olivia." Even the kids in the neighborhood call me by name and now it all sounds perfectly natural to me. My son calls his friend's Mom "Lisa" and tells me it's nicer than having to call her "Mrs. Jackson." He does address his teachers at school as Mr. or Ms. So-and-So, but I guess when he enters university, his Professors might ask him to call them by name. It all depends on how one wants to be addressed, I suppose.

Being active on a social networking site, I have reconnected with many of my students from back home where I used to teach the undergraduate and graduate English Literature students. Most of them still respectfully address me as "Ma'am" and interestingly enough, I have discovered that I'm only 2 or 3 years older than my older batch of students. Though I have asked them and the other younger ones as well to call me by name, it is very difficult for them to do so. I understand how strange and awkward it is for them to get rid of such a culturally rooted and deeply ingrained habit. Maybe it doesn't matter much to me now because I've been away from my place of origin for too long.

What's in a name, I ask?!? But not so for my students from India, I suppose, and I respect them for that!!!