Facebook Peeves

This whole Facebooking phenomenon still baffles me. While I may not have taken Facebook 101 or any other course on Facebook etiquette, I'm pretty sure I have enough common sense to gauge what is acceptable and not so acceptable behaviour on Facebook. With every Tom, Dick, and Harry having jumped onto the Facebook bandwagon, and it being no surprise that even a granny has a Facebook account these days, it has to be said that the rate of bizarre behaviour has increased in direct proportion as well. People continue to bewilder me day in and day out with their shenanigans on this social networking site, and I feel compelled to write about a few of my Facebook peeves here.

I am really confounded when complete strangers send me Friend Requests. I really don't know who these people are, and most often, these requests are never accompanied by any introductory message of any kind telling me who they are and how they know me or where they met me. Most often, they have found me from a friend's list or from a friend's friend's list, and when there is no accompanying message, I usually check the person's profile to see if we have any mutual friends. On many an occasion, when there is no mutual friend, and there is no profile picture of the person either, I have no way of checking who they are. There is not adequate information to identify them - no place, no school or university, or any other detail - that might jostle my grey cells a bit and bring back a memory. Many of them just have their sex listed as Male. The vanity! Let me confess, I have ignored countless requests like this from strange men because it makes me suspect it could be some sort of phishing or stalking or whatever.

There is yet another category of people who simply assume that I know them very well from decades ago. Truth be told, I really don't! They send me a message saying, "You know me very well," and not, "I know you very well." There's a huge difference, people! What's the harm in a plain, direct introduction and asking me if I now remember them? Or why not send a query if it's the same boy or girl one went to school or university with, along with the request? Is that too much to ask for?!?

Then there is a third category of those who send me friend requests, and after I check them out or remember them and confirm them as friends, there is absolute silence from their end. These people are reading my status updates on a regular basis, but they never reach out to me or respond in any way whatsoever. In fact, I have never heard from them even once after I confirmed them as a friend! Then why on earth did they invite me to be their friend, I wonder?!!? Did they add me as a friend just to increase their number of friends on Facebook or are they shy or afraid to contact me any further, I'm not sure? All the activity I see is their success as farmers on Farmville or the results of some quiz they've taken. On a slight variation to this category of so-called friends, I also have folks who have accepted me as a friend, but then maintain a stoic silence! When I write on their wall or send them a message in private, is it too much to expect a response? If someone considers me a friend and has accepted me as one, shouldn't they be responding or reaching out to me just to be polite?

Another thing that completely floors me is the number of friends a person can have in order to maintain a meaningful friendship with each one of them. Is it possible to have more than a thousand friends (I remember seeing one who had close to 3000 friends - no exaggeration, let me tell you!!!) and still be in touch with every single one of them in the real sense of the word? Should one exercise caution in accepting friend requests, or should one be obliged to accept every single request that comes his or her way? I don't think networking meaningfully and sincerely with more than a thousand people is humanly possible by any means. Networking should be considered on genuine terms and not indiscriminately taking on too many friends just to emerge the winner in a competition of popularity.

I am not even going to go anywhere about using Facebook solely as a platform to promote religion and not for any social networking of any kind, or using sundry Facebook applications and flooding friends' home pages with the said updates and pictures of their farms or whatever. Ditto about posting updates that have a veiled criticism of someone he/she wants to attack ... I mean, why not approach the person directly , instead of making all the 300 friends on the list read it and wonder as to who's the one being attacked and for what reason? Very juvenile behaviour, in my opinion! Shouldn't Facebook be all about fun and friendship and camaraderie and memories and good-natured sharing and networking?!!?

Having said that, I wonder what the etiquette is about quietly "unfriending" someone! I am seriously tempted to do so, particularly those I haven't heard from for ages. Why be their friend or keep them on as friends when they haven't bothered to stay connected? Perhaps a lesson from Facebook 101 might serve us all well, I suppose!!!