Facebook Peeves Revisited!

Not long ago, I wrote a post about some of my Facebook peeves and how it would serve us all well if we could take a course on Facebook 101 or at least a lesson or two from that course (http://oliviakanna.blogspot.com/2010/09/facebook-peeves.html) to learn proper Facebook etiquette. Nothing has changed so far about my peeves. I still keep getting friend requests from strange men, the latest being from a stranger from Madurai (my hometown) two days ago, saying , "Hi Madam, wanna good friendship from Madurai?" I have no idea on earth what "good friendship" means, and I would seriously like to know what compels a thorough stranger to ask to be my friend. It's not as if we have any mutual friends, or he knows my family or someone else I know for that matter. Strange case that!

In other cases, I have sent out a few friend requests to people I know from my past, always with a note to introduce or reintroduce myself lest they don't remember me, and have been overjoyed when my request was accepted and we were able to catch up on the past all over again once we became friends. Some of them are my friends from my school days, a few their brothers I knew as young boys, some not much older than me, and some quite senior to me, my teachers from elementary school, my friends' children who are young adults now, and so on. A few others have maintained a stoic silence to my request and am yet to hear from them, while some others have accepted me as a friend but have not responded to what I wrote on their wall. They continue their studious silence as well, as if to say, "You can be my friend, but I don't want to communicate with you. I'll keep you on my Friends List and will read all your updates and look at all your pictures, but will not comment on anything or reach out to you in any way whatsoever. You can write on my wall or comment on my pictures as you wish, but don't expect any response from me at all!" Strange behavior on a social network, eh? Isn't Facebook all about reconnecting and reviving friendships and maintaining open lines of communication? Why even bother having a Facebook account if you don't respond to friends' enquiries or friendly comments, I wonder!

I have always accepted any friend request from an ex-student of mine and appreciate it all the more when they send me a personal message with their request. I have also accepted requests from people whom I personally didn't know, but who had the decency to write to me that they were the daughter of a colleague from a long time ago, or a collegemate's sister, or a junior from my high school who happened to be a former student's cousin, or a student's husband, etc., etc. I feel gratified that these friends are reaching out in a positive way and are making an attempt to widen their network and stay connected, which is what Facebook is all about. Thank you, guys! I also have to say that as a rule, I usually don't accept any of my current students as my friends on Facebook. I feel that their seeing me in a social context takes away that edge I have as their instructor, and wipes out that tone of formality and professionalism I strive to maintain in the classroom. And most certainly, I don't want them to know what I did on the weekend or where I went with my family, lest they see me in a new light in class the next day. When they ask to be my friends, I always tell them politely that I will, once they graduate!

And I'm not even going to go into that peeve about people playing a million games on Facebook, or taking a billion quizzes, or flooding my news feed with a trillion videos, or recommending a zillion causes or apps! Let's just leave a few things unsaid, shall we? I do love all the smart, pithy quotes my friends come up with, or simple updates about what's happening in their lives or with their kids or families, in general. I have a good laugh at some of my young friends' threads rife with slang and good-natured ribbing and pulling of each other's legs. I enjoy looking at the pictures my friends post, which give me an insight into what they're up to, and I vicariously live their adventures with them or just sit back and marvel at their creativity and photographic skills. I appreciate the support and comfort we extend to one another through our updates and back and forth comments. I exult in the achievements of a friend excelling in his speech as a toastmaster, or share the pride of a friend's child winning a scholarship or playing at a chess tournament or dancing bharathnatyam (an Indian classical dance) or having said something smart, or admire an update of a friend training for a half- marathon or taking up barefoot running. I feel grateful about reconnecting with people from my childhood and subsequent years, and marvel at the passage of time and how a genial networking tool has brought us all back together again! It is all these wonderful things about Facebook that keep me going. For the pleasure of all these, my friends, I'm ready to overlook all my peeves! Amen to that!