Deferred Dreams Or Wishful Thinking?

Growing up in a family of book lovers, I used to devour anything and everything that was in print. I had a special fascination for travelogues and would savor every word and pore over every picture and the comment beneath it. In my mind's eye, I would be transported instantly to all the varied countries and continents and would dwell on the idyllic moments of myself indulging in endless hours of sightseeing, soaking up the sun, and general laziness all around. In short, I just wanted to travel around the globe, experience the sights and sounds of different places, and be a citizen of the world. When will this dream of mine become a reality, or will it ever become one, I wonder? I'm still waiting for time to tell me the answer.

Having lived in my hometown for thirty plus years, a sense of panic used to grip me and I would wonder if I'd have to live in the same town till the day I died, without ever having seen the world around me. All that changed after my family and I moved to the United States. Now, traveling is not that big a deal and is entirely possible, but the biggest obstacle to doing so is lack of time. With my husband and I holding full time jobs and having vacations at different times, not forgetting the kid who has school when we have vacation time, travel is still a deferred dream. My son keeps assuring me quite frequently that when he becomes a doctor, he'll send me traveling around the world. Promising though as it sounds, I can't help but think that's almost 12 years away, what with the kid having started Grade 9 just a couple of weeks ago!

So in the meantime, fantasize I must! I dream of an early retirement and see myself living with my husband in a tiny cottage in a scenic locale, with a beautiful garden to boot. I'd love to putter around in the garden, read my favorite authors endlessly, cook gastronomical delights, go for long walks on the hiking trails around my house, all without ever having to think about work, worry about expenses or saving up for the kid's education. I'd love to punctuate that kind of a life with travel to exotic places, like spending a week in the French Riviera or soaking up the sun in Cancun or marveling at the icy vistas of the Antarctic. Relaxing in a villa in the Algarve, reveling in the culture of Paris, gazing at the majesty of the pyramids or lounging on a barge on the Nile, exploring the Amazon, etc., etc., are all part of the deal. Will such a day ever come or is it just wishful thinking? Time must tell.

Another of my deferred dreams is getting back to University for a doctoral program. Unfortunately for me, Vancouver universities do not offer part-time Ph.D. programs, which means the only way to earn that is to give up my job and become a full-time student for the next 5 years. Again, another impossible task because I need to make a living, and besides I need all the money I have and more to put my kid through university, for which he'll be ready in another 4 years. I can't be selfish enough to think of my own academic pursuits at this point of time, can I? I'd love to pursue a program in criminology/psychology/sociology, etc., etc., (because all these subjects fascinate me!) but I just have to defer it for now, I guess.

Deferred dreams...wishful thinking... whatever they might be, life does go on!